Review by Rachael Clyne of “maybe i’ll call gillian anderson” by Rhian Elizabeth

If I find myself reading a collection from cover to cover in one go, it’s a sign of enjoyment. I relate to Rhian’s witty and conversational style and admire her honesty about her shortcomings, which she does with flair. The title poem opens the book with her daughter leaving home: "sometimes i find myself standing / in the empty room, screaming: / alexa, what the fuck am i meant to do now?" The shock lifts the lid on her own Pandora’s box of youthful chaos and disastrous liaisons – a familiar journey to me. The poet does not shrink from sharing her dysfunctions and excesses and finds herself becoming a single mother aged eighteen. Although hard, it provides an anchor for her love. It seems a stable relationship is beyond reach, as in her poem "lobster" in which a lover tries to engage her in a conversation about the soul: "i felt like a lobster drifting / in a restaurant tank / watching you popping / the champagne / while i waited to die." The book carries a tone of unfulfilled longing and wading through broken glass. The poet’s use of "i" as her personal pronoun hints at an incompleteness of self.

Inevitably, a daughter cannot permanently fill the gap, which the poet must learn to fill with herself. Gillian Anderson is a fantasy crush, representing a longing to be made beautiful by love. Fantasy can get us through, but will not heal us. Perhaps finding ways to love and forgive our brokenness is what makes us feel beautiful. I enjoyed Rhian Elizabeth’s first book, girls etc, but this new collection digs deeper. Rhian’s self-exploration in maybe i’ll call gillian anderson is a milestone on that journey and her generosity is a gift to those of us on the same quest. 

About the reviewer
Rachael Clyne is a retired psychotherapist. Her first collection Singing at the Bone Tree (Indigo Dreams) concerns eco-issues. Her latest collection, You’ll Never Anyone Else (Seren Books), explores themes of identity and otherness including, migrant heritage, LGBTQ and relationships.    

You can read more about maybe i'll call gillian anderson by Rhian Elizabeth on Creative Writing at Leicester here.